"The Code of the Extraordinary Mind: 10 Unconventional Laws to Redefine Your Life and Succeed on Your Own Terms"
A Summary of Vishen Lakhiani's Book
“[T]here’s a big difference between bending to life’s necessities and blindly accepting that you must live your life according to preconceived rules.”
— Vishen Lakhiani
Introduction
What makes some people extraordinary? According to Vishen Lakhiani, it’s their ability to recognize and rewrite the “code” by which human beings conduct themselves. He attributes this ability, in part, to a trait found in people with Asperger’s: the instinct to question social norms rather than blindly live by them. In this book, the entrepreneur and motivational speaker teaches us to think like some of the great nonconformists so that we, too, can be “extraordinary.”
Part I: “Living in the Culturescape: How You Were Shaped by the World Around You”
Chapter 1: “Transcend the Culturescape”
We live in both a physical world of absolute truth and a social world of relative truth. The latter—what Lakhiani calls the culturescape—is filled with ideas about how we should live that are transmitted across generations and evolve to keep us safe. However, in steering our lives toward safety, these beliefs deter us from taking the necessary risks to expand our capabilities and fulfill our potential. Lakhiani argues that safety—in a world that’s now safer than ever—is “overrated.” He tells us that instead of blindly adhering to traditional advice, extraordinary minds “selectively choose the rules and conditions to follow versus those to question or ignore” and that while an unconventional life can be more volatile than a conventional one, it can also be more rewarding.
Chapter 2: “Question the Brules”
Before we can live by the code that aligns with our true goals and needs, we must free ourselves from what Lakhiani calls Brules (short for “bulls**t rules”). For each belief of ours that we suspect may be senseless, we’re advised to examine its origin, its alignment with the Golden Rule, its respect for humanity, and its impact on our happiness. Lakhiani tells us that if a belief was thoughtlessly adopted, violates the Golden Rule, is misanthropic, or undermines our pursuit of happiness, then it may be a Brule we can ignore. He also notes that ignoring Brules may require us to deal assertively with criticism and that by taking control of our lives, we’re assuming responsibility for not only our actions but also their consequences.
Part II: “The Awakening: The Power to Choose Your Version of the World”
Chapter 3: “Practice Consciousness Engineering”
Every so often, we update or upgrade our technology to optimize its performance. Lakhiani tells us that the human mind requires similar maintenance. He likens our models of reality (our beliefs about ourselves and the world around us) and our systems for living (our activities and daily habits) to technology, explaining that what might have served us well in the past may be suboptimal in the present. We’re advised to adopt ways of thinking and living that are conducive to personal growth, which is a practice that Lakhiani calls consciousness engineering.
Chapter 4: “Rewrite Your Models of Reality”
Most of us live under the influence of subconscious beliefs that we acquired at some point in our past. Much of becoming wise and extraordinary is about discovering and unlearning those that are holding us back. Lakhiani tells us that if we replace our disempowering beliefs with empowering ones, we can manifest our success. He asks us to reflect on—and rewrite as necessary—our beliefs about love, friendship, money, quality of life, health and fitness, education, emotions, spirituality, career, character, family and parenting, and our life vision.
Chapter 5: “Upgrade Your Systems for Living”
According to Lakhiani, extraordinary performance results from having a discovery process, a refresh rate, and set points. The discovery process involves learning (through books, seminars, courses, etc.) new and better ways to do what we do in our personal and professional lives. A refresh rate refers to how often we apply that knowledge—that is, how often we upgrade our activities and daily habits. Lastly, set points are minimums (such as push-up capacity, sales volume, bank account balance, or date night frequency) that indicate when we need to correct our behavior. We’re advised to begin the discovery process, make a habit of refreshing our habits, set specific and achievable set points, and slightly raise our set points whenever we fall short of them.
Part III: “Recoding Yourself: Transforming Your Inner World”
Chapter 6: “Bend Reality”
Most of us tie our happiness to the attainment of our goals. This is problematic for two reasons. The first is that we’re more likely to attain something when we’re happy in the pursuit of it. The second is that happiness, unlike fulfillment, is fleeting—which means that when we reserve it for life’s victories, we spend most of our time chasing happiness instead of experiencing it. Lakhiani tells us that when we have a vision of the future that drives us and are happy in the present moment, we’re seemingly able to make our own luck and “bend reality” in our favor. He reasons that when we are both driven and happy, we’re able to think clearly and attract people who can facilitate our success.
Chapter 7: “Live in Blissipline”
Lakhiani introduces us to what he calls Blissipline, or “the discipline of daily bliss.” It consists of three “transcendent” practices: gratitude, forgiveness, and giving. The first involves appreciating what we have now and how far we have come. The second involves forgiving the people who wrong us, ensuring that even if corrective or defensive action is necessary, our state of mind remains unaffected by their actions. The third involves giving people something, such as our time, love, wisdom, assistance, or spot in a line. We’re told that by practicing these three things on a daily basis, we can feel good about ourselves and maintain control over our happiness.
Chapter 8: “Create a Vision for Your Future”
Lakhiani distinguishes between means goals and end goals. The former are steps taken to achieve other things and tend to be culturally prescribed (such as getting a college degree to secure a job that requires it), while the latter are ends in themselves and are often emotional (such as consistently feeling joyous and loving). Many of us mistake means goals for end goals and wonder why our lives feel boring, stagnant, or uninspiring. We’re advised to create a vision for our future that is decidedly our own by considering what experiences we want to have, how we want to grow, and how we want to contribute. Only then can we determine which means goals are worth pursuing.
Part IV: “Becoming Extraordinary: Changing the World”
Chapter 9: “Be Unfuckwithable”
The fear of failure and rejection deters most of us from pursuing big dreams and goals. But that fear comes from attaching our happiness and self-worth to achievements and outside opinions. Lakhiani tells us that instead of seeking external validation, extraordinary minds rely on “their own inner happiness and self-love” and are “unfuckwithable.” They’re at peace and in touch with themselves, unbothered by the negative words and actions of other people. We’re advised to be likewise by having end goals that are completely within our control and by overriding our desire to prove ourselves.
Chapter 10: “Embrace Your Quest”
An organizational psychologist named Amy Wrzesniewski identifies three types of work: jobs, which are simply a means to earn a living; careers, which are jobs with promotional paths; and callings, which are pursuits that give life meaning. Lakhiani tells us that while some of the most extraordinary people work for mission-driven organizations, all of them have callings and strive to improve not only their own lives but also humanity as a whole. We’re advised to consider what impact we want to have on the world and to take whatever actions our intuition guides us toward—which could mean working for, supporting, or starting a company.